"I started the program in a very low, dark place."

Today, I continue the series, Seeking Clarity: Interviews with Women Who Sought and Found Their Answer to the Motherhood Question with a conversation with a client who says she began the program "in a very low, dark place." But, with the help of the program, was able to work through her desperation and depression to face issues she'd been struggling with. Ultimately, she decided that she does want to be a mother.

Please keep reading to learn more about her journey...

What did you enjoy or appreciate most about the Motherhood Clarity Course?

I appreciated that it was a timebound program, therapy with a goal. I appreciated that we had to truly explore "Me" in order to understand what I wanted in life. It was a Motherhood Clarity course but it was so much more. 

What’s the most important insight you gained by working through the program?

I learned that I truly wanted to be a mother. Not because I’m getting older and it’s the proper goal in life (so I was taught), or even that I rebelliously wanted to do it on my own in spite of others. The program helped me understand what it meant to be a parent and to understand the role of children in our lives, or rather our role in their lives. I was then able to really unpack how I felt about that and know with clarity that this is something that I sincerely wanted.

Is there anything you’d like me to know about your experience?

I started the program in a very low, dark place. I was feeling desperate and depressed and just wanted to give up on everything. This course helped me to work through a number of issues. Or rather, to see and face this issues so that I can work on them – insecurities, blame, disappointments, etc. To be honest, the writings were demanding and I just wasn’t in the mood most weeks with all the other responsibilities and time demands in my life. But the writings ended up providing so much value to me. I’m still regularly reading back through my journal to remind myself on discoveries I found along the way.

How do you feel today compared to 4 weeks ago when you completed the course?

I was on a high when the program ended and I’ve just been climbing from there! I am bursting with happiness. I have a newfound vigor for life and I have a stronger appreciation for everything – me, God, family, friends, life.

What is your next step at this point in your process?

I wrote a journal entry. A two-year plan I would like to follow. I’ll own a home within a year. Start having serious conversations with a fertility doctor in the new year. Pick a donor and start treatments by September 2018. I would like to be pregnant by Christmas 2018. This would be four attempts. And if things don’t go according to plans, that’s okay. And if I’m still not pregnant by Christmas, it would also be okay to keep trying. And all the while I will stop being closed off to living. I’ll date, travel, work, and just live my best life.

Would you recommend this course to others and why?

Absolutely! Inner reflection is immensely important. It’s so helpful to have someone caring and knowing to help guide you. I had a mess of thoughts, fears, doubts, and hang ups in my head. This program helped to organize and simplify and see things with clarity. 

What would you tell a woman who is struggling with not knowing or struggling to decide?

That it’s okay to not know. That she should definitely try the Motherhood Clarity Course!